• Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
  • Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
  • If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
  • I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
  • Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
  • Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
  • The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
  • The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
  • If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
  • If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.
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