The top 10 most inspiring quotes by Tom Segura
- I don’t switch my act up to win over the crowd. I’m more like, ‘You came here. This is what I do.’ I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.
- I think being funny was a coping mechanism because I was always the new kid in school.
- I’m definitely a jaded traveler, but you try to make the best of what you know about the experience. Like, I know how to pack a bag. I know that checking a bag is for rookies.
- You get such a visceral thrill driving a race car. You think you’ve driven, and then you’re like, ‘Oh, I was doing something for 20 years that I didn’t realize I hadn’t experienced the real version of.’
- I don’t want to lose weight to live long or be healthy. I just want to be able to make fun of fat people again and know for sure that they’re fatter than me.
- It’s okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be like them.
- I would trade 20 white babies for an Asian baby. If I’m ever rich, I want a closet full of Asian babies. And I’ll just pull them out whenever I’m feeling down, you know? All kinds. Korean ones. Chinese ones. Vietnamese—not so much. My dad was in the war, and I hold a grudge.
- If you’re going to wear a cowboy hat, you’re going to have to go all the way. You should have livestock around you, settle all of your disputes with a pistol, and ride a horse absolutely everywhere.
- I like my shame straight up and honest, and nobody does it better than In-N-Out Burger. You go to In-N-Out Burger, and they ask you the most shameful question in fast food. ‘I’ll have a burger, fries and a Coke.’ ‘Will you be eating in the car?’ ‘Yeah. I think so.’
- I always like it when I eat myself out of breath. That’s a good boost to my day. You know, I’m eating, and I go, ‘Oooohhh.’ It’s better a few moments later when you get to think about it, when you’re like, ‘Why did I just stop to take a deep breath? Oh yeah, my body also needs air.’
Tom Segura is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and podcaster known for his dry wit, observational humor, and unfiltered takes on everyday life. Born on April 16, 1979, in Cincinnati, Ohio, Segura discovered his passion for comedy at an early age and pursued it as a career.
He gained popularity through his stand-up specials like “Completely Normal,” “Mostly Stories,” and “Disgraceful,” where he covers a range of topics from parenting and marriage to American culture and social issues. His comedic style often involves self-deprecation and blunt honesty, resonating with audiences across the globe.
In addition to his stand-up career, Segura has appeared in various television shows and films, including “Gary Unmarried,” “Happy Endings,” and “Instant Family.” He has also co-hosted the popular podcast “Your Mom’s House” with his wife, comedian Christina Pazsitzky, where they discuss comedy, family life, and current events.
With a growing fan base and a knack for connecting with audiences through humor, Tom Segura continues to be a prominent figure in the comedy world, leaving audiences laughing and thinking long after the show is over.
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